I thought of you today. I thought of you as I was sitting quietly in the soft glow of the Christmas tree with its’ sparkling lights and shimmering tinsel. Without meaning to, I whispered your name aloud, and the sound of it stole my breath. I don’t know why it happened, but it did. In that moment, a flood of happy memories filled my heart. I was speechless, something that rarely happens to me.

So, I sat there in silence, letting the warmth of those memories wash over me. To my surprise, I felt Joy, a feeling I thought had been tucked away deep inside me, almost lost. I welcomed it. I embraced it. Remembering you and the times we shared brought me joy and happiness. I cried happy tears.

Joy always seemed effortless for you, never something you had to chase. That was one of the many reasons I loved you. For me, finding and feeling joy takes a lot of effort. Sometimes it feels like too much effort, in fact. I know that’s the depression speaking. Please forgive me for that.

But tonight, because I whispered your name and remembered our laughter and all those happy moments, I found joy. I felt joy. I needed a little joy this holiday season.

Merry Christmas.