Today, I want to begin to share a little more about my story. The story I’ve wanted to share for a while now. The TRUE story, the story as I see it, at least from my mind’s eye. Please join me as we go a little deeper into the world of JFTS. Here goes.

Let’s start from the beginning. But what IS the beginning, you might ask? Thats a question I truly can’t answer. My idea and yours of what the beginning may be are likely different. For me though, and considering the story I want to share, I can pinpoint the specific day I feel was the TRUE beginning. That day was in 1986.

That day was a typical hot South Alabama Summer day, a Saturday in fact, nearing my 17th birthday. For me, it seems as good a day as any to begin this journey with you. This Saturday, I had the pleasure of driving my Mom and Sister out into the countryside to meet my Aunt Chris for a hair appointment. Southern Ladies love to get their hair “done.” They were going to get their hair cut and permed at a place called Deen’s Salon and I was charged with driving them. My Aunt Christine had taken a job with a family friend, Miss Deen, in her hair salon in a building behind her home. The salon had been there for decades. Everyone in the community knew it was there and many of those had been patrons for decades. Aunt Chris had been working at the salon for several years and she seemed happy to have the opportunity to see old and new friends and make some much-needed money to support her family. We made the drive out into the countryside to the salon and entered to the typical greetings from all the Ladies of the community. I, being the only guy, sat in the corner and dutifully and patiently waited. Mom and Sister went about their business and the others in the shop carried on with all the latest news and gossip. I sat and listened and tried to look as if I wanted to be there. I didn’t, but the ride and offer to get out of weekend chores was too appealing not to join that day. I sat and sat some more and then it happened. The Lady that would offer me those words of encouragement, the words of possible prophecy, entered the salon. Let me share with you some of what I can remember from that day.

On this day, I had the pleasure of meeting Miss Effie May Hughes. Miss Hughes, as everyone referred to her, was celebrating her 95th birthday that day. This Saturday, as with most, she told me she wanted to have her regular “wash and set”, so she could be ready for church the following day. Miss Hughes sat next to me, awaiting her turn, and soon, our chat began. I didn’t know it that day, but our chat would be pivotal in my life. as usual, she asked me who my “people” were, and I obliged. She knew them all and had had kind things to say about them. I shared a little about myself. I was 17 years old, was good at school, and had the typical teen boy life. We chatted a while about me. Her attention tuned to me and my words. Then, Miss Hughes shared a little about herself. She shared that her life had been about helping others. Living in a small rural community, with few resources and much need, one had to be resourceful, she said. She shared that there was always someone in need of food, care, support, or a strong shoulder to lean on. It was often hers. She described her own life; a life filled with challenges and triumph. She told of moments when she came to understand that her strength and courage and her desire to try to make life a little better for others had been most assuredly the framework for her own life. She shared that, in making life better for those around her, she made her own life more fulfilling and satisfying. She helped me understand that she wasn’t wealthy in financial terms, but she had wealth in all other ways. Her sense of Faith, her ability to feel and share love, her sense of community, her exceptionally good health, and her ability to be happy in life were the dividends of all her life work. This was her own experience. Wise words from a Lady on her 95th birthday. She said she planned to continue her work until she was 100 years old and then she might take a break. Those words and her time were her gifts to me. Miss Hughes packed a lot into our short chat. She shared that life would not be easy all the time. Life would have a mix of good and not so good, and it was up to me to decide which side I would take. On this day, Miss Hughes told me that she felt that I, like her, was a nurturer with a kind and gentle soul. She said she saw a little of herself in me. It seems odd to compare a 17-year-old boy with a 95-year-old Lady. But she did. She told me that she saw something in me that made her feel as if I would be the person to make life a little better for those around me. She hoped that, if I answered the “calling” as she described it, my life would be richer and more fulfilling, as hers had been. She made me promise that I wouldn’t run from the challenge, and I did as I was asked. She said that I would be rewarded for my kindness to others and then smiled and wished me well. Of course, I listened and smiled as she shared. After all, my Mama was sitting only a few feet away and it would have been disastrous for me to have been anything less than respectful of Miss Hughes. And then, as quickly as our chat began, it was over. It was time for us to go. Mama and Sister had their hair quaffed and curled, all happy and confident, and then we loaded into the car to make the drive back to our home. I found some comfort in what Miss Hughes said that day, but I also felt confused and a little afraid. How could she see those things in me? Was she some sort of sooth sayer? Could she see the deepest secrets I kept? And, yes, I did have secrets, or at least I thought I did. What if what she had said was true? What would my life look and feel like? None of what she said made any sense to me. I thought I had a plan for what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a Landscape Designer. My own plan didn’t sound anything remotely like what she said I would do. This memory, for better or worse, fell to the back of my mind not to resurface for many years. And my life went on.

In the years to come, I struggled to find my own path. I graduated from high school, immediately began my college studies, and went to work to try to earn a bit of a living to pay for my education. I dabbled in landscape design and all that it entails. I loved it. It didn’t pay the bills. It was hard work, harder than I had thought. I did lawn work, worked in a restaurant, and then worked in retail. None of them satisfied me. While the work did pay the bills, I still felt lost, adrift in the midst of a vast ocean. College continued in fits and spurts. I was adrift with no direction, no purpose, and no plan. My Dad tried to show me the path to take. It felt too much like his own. His work was hard work, it paid the bills, but it didn’t feel right for me. I respected his path, but my own ideas of what I wanted to be just didn’t seem possible if I had taken the path he had. I loved animals and plants. He was a machinist and aircraft inspector. Two very different pathways in life. He coached, mentored, parented, and did all the things that good Dad’s often do, to help their children live a good life and then he decided that I simply had to figure it out for myself. He finally took a step back and watched patiently as I made my own way. It was hard, for him and for me. He wanted me to be able to support myself without the threats and fear that had taken him a lifetime to overcome. He wanted me to be productive but reminded me that happiness in the workplace and the ability to work for financial stability were not always intertwined. He said that, in the face of adversity and possible impoverishment, I should choose reliable work that paid the bills. Hard work always paid off, in his mind. Remember, he was a child of the post-depression era. His experiences as a young boy were filled with dark and gloomy days when his own family struggled to have food on the table. He never wanted to return back to those times, and he definitely didn’t want that for me. I can and did respect that. It was many years later that I finally found my path. Dad was right. He knew I would eventually figure it out. I did and he was able to see it. His patience with me was probably the greatest challenge for him. I know I frustrated him often. Those life lessons, often hard earned, are the strongest ones a person can ever endure. And Miss Hughes was right as well. I didn’t know her that day, but I truly appreciate her for taking the time to look deeply inside me and share, openly and honestly, what she saw. By spending that afternoon with a scared boy with no direction in life, she planted a seed inside me that would eventually sprout, grow, and blossom. I left the salon that day with my Mom and Sister and my life went on.

It was only a few years later that I learned that Miss Hughes had passed away. She didn’t make it to 100, but she did live a rich and full life. A life of service. She lived, loved, and made the world around her a little better each day. That was her contribution to her community. And she was happy. Isn’t that what we all want in life? I know I do. Her words did come true. To some degree, I’m certain I was destined to be what and who I am. She saw it before I did, how deep and profound a reflection to have? That young boy, soon to be a man, was afraid to pick a side. Really afraid to do anything. Dad tried to guide me through, and he did, to some extent. He and my Mom taught me that life choices happen every day. he said that it’s likely I would make a bad life choice from time to time, but it was also just as likely I would make a good life choice as well. They instilled those values into me that they hoped would lead me to make the right choices. They just wanted me to make the choices that would help me be a productive, self-supporting, and happy person. I suppose I did. And, as far as that person Miss Effie May Hughes believed would go on the help others, she was right, and she saw it before I did.

So, there it is. My life story. Or at least the beginning of it. Part 1 of what may be many to come. Next time I plan to share how those words that day came to be my reality.

Thanks to everyone for spending a little bit of your time with me today. I know and respect that your TIME is the most precious thing you have to share. Thank You for giving me a little of your time today.

JFTS