No matter who you are, young or old, it is likely you have a strongly held opinion about Fruitcake. Literally everyone has some sort of feeling about the subject. Opinions vary, but MOST Folx seem to have a strong aversion against Fruitcake. Even if they have never even tasted one. Today, I want to come out of my corner and share my opinion.

Fruitcake, in my family tradition, is a Christmas EVENT. I say “EVENT” because it’s not just a dessert or something sweet to eat between one meal and the next. It’s a whole entire event in and of itself. We, as Fruitcake admirers, take great pains to preach the Fruitcake message. We celebrate it and enjoy every morsel. We cart it out after a meal and, with great FanFair, offer it in a “Taa Daa” moment. Like I said, it’s an EVENT. In my family, the Fruitcake stands alone. It isn’t the pre-meal snack, it isn’t the meal, it isn’t the actual dessert. For me, it’s THE MAIN Event. Yes, Southern Folx know and love “dressing“. I’m one of those Folx, but the Fruitcake is what I’m really waiting for when we come together to consume that holiday meal. More on the world of dressing in a later post.

The ugly side of Fruitcake lore is that SOME Folx hate it as much as I love it. Yeah, I know. It shouldn’t be true, but it is. Those people spend as much time maligning the sweet delicacy as humanly possible. They use hatefully unkind words and often very animated body language to ensure you and I know very well how the feel about Fruitcake. And it aint pretty. Often times, in these circumstances, it is as if the Civil War has broken out, once again. People wearing hunting camo clothing, football Tee’s, flip flops (like the ones you wear on the beach) and all sorts of warm weather or other hunting gear seem to group up to join forces against the wicked Fruitcake lovers. They choose their preferred weapon, circle the wagons, so to speak, and prepare for battle. Yes, for the most part it is a war of words none the less, but definitely with the plan that somebody WILL get hurt (feelings can be hurt). The victorious once the battle is over, always the Fruitcake lovers, sit in admiration of the centerpiece of the dessert table and the losers skulk off to lick their wounds and listen to 70s era country music (George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Hank Williams SENIOR!!!) on their truck radio. And so it begins, the holiday season and our annual Fruitcake War. A little humility here, I love each and every one of these Folx. I am grateful for them and feel blessed that we can still come together from time to time.

My own love for Fruitcake began many years ago. I believe I was 8 or 9 years old. I can remember my Mom and her sisters discussing who would bring THE Fruitcake for Christmas. It was requisite that someone would, but it seems as if no one wanted to be THE one to prepare and bring one. It was costly and took a lot of time to make. Once they did, however, it took center stage on the dessert table. A place of honor. Often on the finest cake pedestal the family had and definitely surrounded by decorations and all sorts of appealing holiday fare intended to draw attention to the Fruitcake. As the day progressed, people would eat and eat again, and then dessert would happen. The children would run off to play in the yard. The older Folx would settle in for what they hoped would be a relaxing few hours and then somebody would make a large pot of the darkest, richest, most full-bodied coffee known to Man. It was then, and only then that the Fruitcake would be cut. This is the moment I would sneak back into the house and find my place among the old Folx. I’ve always had an affinity for our elders, their kind and gentle words, their wisdom, and their ability to show and share love. I miss them deeply today. As I said, I would find my place and then we would have our first Fruitcake of the season. While my cousins were in the yard wrestling hogs or shooting at errant nonexistent shapes a/k/a “boogers” (you think I’m joking don’t you) in the “woods” with a long rifle filled with potentially deadly ammunition, I ate Fruitcake with the elders, and I LOVED EVERY MOMENT. Don’t tell them, they’re too old to hear it anyway, but my cousins missed out. It was sitting next to Aunt Anne, Aunt Fannie May, my Granny, Mom and Dad, and my Uncle George (and so many others) that I learned a lot about who I am and what it means to be part of our family and the traditions we have. I’ve been a fruitcake lover ever since those early days. and…… I’m not ashamed.

So now why? Why all those memories about Fruitcake today? Well, the honest truth is that I’ve been missing those in my family that aren’t here anymore. I miss their wit and wisdom and their often-raw ability to share and offer guidance. This Holiday Season, I’m doing as much as I can to find and feel Joy. Joy and Happiness are fleeting for me, I’m sure you can understand why if you’ve been reading my posts. My plan for the holiday season is simple, I will do my best to be positive. I will try to feel and share joy and happiness. I will continue to surround myself with those things that bring me comfort. I will continue to try to keep family traditions alive. And I will try to share my memories with you so that, one day, If I can no longer remember the good things, maybe you will love me enough to remind me of them.

So, making a Fruitcake is part of my Holiday tradition this year. As I write this post, I’m sitting at my kitchen table looking at the counter filled with all sorts of Fruitcake ingredients. It’s kind of funny when I think about it. You can purchase a Fruitcake, albeit an inferior tasteless one, from local bakery or online store for anywhere from $20.00 to $75.00. Yes, it’s true. Fruitcakes can be costly to buy. The ingredients I’m presently looking at set me back almost $200.00. It took me going to five local grocery stores to locate all the ingredients, but I was successful. Yay!!!! Making and cooking a Fruitcake can be a day long effort. It just takes time. It doesn’t make sense, does it? Why spend all that money and take all that time to make a Fruitcake when you can buy one? Simple word, Tradition. It’s a part of my memories and I want to keep that tradition alive, if only for one more year.

Tonight, when I begin making and baking my own Fruitcake, I know I will remember those days when I sat with my elders on a cold holiday afternoon. I will remember their favorite dress or the perfume they loved to wear. I will remember the stories they loved to tell over and over again, and I will remember the joy and happiness I felt back then. My Mom isn’t able to make Fruitcake this year. At 80+ years of age, and with a lack of endurance and pain across her body, she simply can’t do it anymore. My Dad, Aunt Anne, Aunt Fannie May, Uncle George and so many others are gone now. The family seems a lot smaller than it once was. I’ m sure my cousins who are spread across the world now are still wearing their hunting camo and football team Tee’s and flip flops (Honestly, they are good People), and many things are today, as they have been for decades. I can’t change that, nor would I even suggest to. It’s all a part of them and me too. Tonight, though, I plan to start my holiday Season with a strong dose of tradition and lots of happy memories. I hope you can find some way to do the same. A good Fruitcake has to sit for a while to “cure” after it is made. I think I have just enough time to let my Fruitcake cure, with a little help from a high proof dark rum, before Christmas.

So, as we carry on, I want you and I to make this simple promise to each other. The words may not be as noble and literary as many writers we know, but they are sincere, humble, and honest. I want us to promise one another that we will find a way to feel and share Joy and Happiness this holiday season and beyond. Yes, I know that may be a daunting task for many, but I promise you that if you can find a way to do it, it will be tremendously rewarding. Honor those that you love. Remember those that aren’t with us anymore. Give Mercy and Grace to yourself, and others, for whatever we may be struggling with. Find joy and happiness. AND, if you feel able, try to make your own Fruitcake this holiday season. There are hundreds of recipes out there. Whether you are a professional or novice baker, I’m sure you can find one that works best for you.

For now, though. I’m off to eat a little piece of one of those (inferior) (Tasteless) (I”M STILL GOING TO ENJOY IT) store purchased Fruitcakes I acquired yesterday evening. The coffee pot just beeped, so I know my coffee is ready for me. I’m going to cut me a piece of fruitcake and sit in silence for a bit while I think about all the blessing I have. Thank you for spending a little of your time with me today. I wish you, and I, a happy and joyous Holiday Season. Peace be with you. Joe from the South.