My own journey these past 27 months has been filled with profound emotion. Depression has a way of showing itself in many ways. I’m exhausted and angry often, but I also feel Peace and happiness from time to time. Losing the person you thought you would spend your life with has a way of taking the wind out of your sails. I am NOT my loss, but it is a huge part of me. This is my journey and I’m forever Thankful that you decided to come along with me.

To be honest, one reason I started this blog was to share my experiences surrounding my own life challenges especially those related to my loss of Adam. As I once shared, I thought Adam was going to be my “forever” person. He and I clicked the first time we met. Our relationship wasn’t traditional in any sense. He lived and worked in Atlanta, I work and live in SE Alabama. We talked daily and saw one another as often as we could. I became skillful at navigating the SE Alabama to ATL interstate highway system and did it with glee. Adam was always there when I ended my trek. He always greeted me with a smile, a few happy tears, and the most wonderful Kiss… Our time with one another was very precious and I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. Time is precious.

Here’s a funny tidbit most Folx don’t know: Adam talked with his Mom every day…. he loved her and she him. He was a “Mama’s Boy” through and through…. (I guess I am as well….) This became evident the morning Adam, very casually and with no warning, video called his Mom as he and I were lazily relaxing (I think the word is aue naturelle) in bed. One moment we were relaxing and the next moment, Adam, Judy and I were video chatting about our plans for the day. This was definitely not how I wanted to start my day. It’s funny now but wasn’t so funny then. I believe my own ability to laugh about this now is proof I am healing… Healing does take time. I’m not sure what, if anything, Judy may have initially seen, but she has never mentioned it if she did see anything that may have embarrassed anyone. Judy is a good Southern girl.

Now back to the story. I am a person of Faith. I make no apologies for that. My Faith is a part of me. If I were to pray to God for a Man of the “Husband type”, THAT PRAYER might sound something like this. “Dear God, please send me a good Man, one that loves you, but that also loves me. Please let him have beautiful eyes and a kind heart. Let him be funny and witty and have a little swagger when he walks. A Man with broad shoulders and a pretty butt would be a plus…. (God is a masterful designer) Also, please let him have a strong family bond. Please let him love animals and babies. And, if I can just add one more to this list of my wishes, please let him love to sing or play a musical instrument. Thank you, God.” Now that I think about it, I DID Pray this.

Well, God listened, and he sent me Adam. But he sent Adam in HIS time and HIS way. I loved Adam, he was truly the answer to my prayers. Adam was in my life for a lifetime, but it was Adam’s lifetime not mine. I wanted more. It wasn’t to be. Hence the journey I’ve been on for a while now. So, as I continue to unpack all this baggage I’ve been carrying around for the past 27 months, I want to express my sincere appreciation for the time I had with Adam. While it wasn’t as long as I hoped, it made me a better person. Adam made me a better person. I carry a part of him in my heart every day. I choose to celebrate Adam. He deserves this. I admit some days are harder than others, but these days are fewer and fewer. I miss him.

I also want to say that I APPRECIATE you. Thank you for coming along on this journey with me. I feel a sense of gratitude that I had the good fortune to meet and Love Adam and share a little about Adam with you. November 14 would have been his birthday. I know the next weeks will be emotional for me. I’m sure his Mom, Judy is feeling this as well. Judy lost her son, a tragedy of the highest order if you are a Parent. I’m also sure his sisters, Becky and Laura continue to cope with the loss of their little Brother. Once again, time heals.

As for me, I plan to continue on my own journey of self-reflection and personal growth. I hope for a better day and If I can be honest, I pray THAT PRAYER once more. I know Adam wouldn’t want me to be sad. Thank you, once again, for giving me a little piece of your day today. Comment if you want. I read them all. Happy Sunday, Ya’ll.