Loss of a loved one is one of the greatest challenges a person may ever endure. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, spouse, life partner, close friend, child, sibling or anyone that you feel especially close to, losing them may profoundly impact you in every sense.

In dealing with the loss, we may become angry, we may grieve ourselves into an illness, we may become depressed, become bitter or jaded, and may experience emotional, physical and behavioral changes on the most intimate level. For me, I became angry and then depressed and stayed there for what felt like forever. Also, I was NUMB. My friends and family knew it and my closest work peers knew it. It was just who I was for a long time.

For many months, my people loved and nurtured me through the roughest days. (And there were many) I’ve never said this out loud, but I cried almost every day during the 30-minute drive into my office. The car was my safest of safe places and crying helped me to get the emotion out. I’m sure passing motorists must have seen a tear-soaked guy in the midst of a mental breakdown. To be honest, it was probably true. It was almost 18 months after Adam died before I didn’t cry each day on my drive to work. Time does heal….

I can see now that my closest friends and family members were hard at work trying to love me through my loss. I now know they made excuses to have me come out and about with them, they invited me to go on a drive from time to time, we dined together from time to time just so I wouldn’t be alone, they called or came by OFTEN and when I got quiet and withdrew, they called each other to talk about how much they were concerned for me. I wasn’t alone and they tried to make me understand that truth even when I tried to shut them out. They really tried.

So, the best advice I can share is to fight grief every day. Try to understand and process it as best you can as often as necessary, if even in tiny increments. Understand that grief is exhausting. Rest when you can. Take time for you. Remember, self-care is important, and it isn’t being self-centered to take a portion of your day to be alone with yourself doing something to bring a bit of comfort into your life. If you can do this, then miraculously, with the passing of time and with support from the right people, healing will happen.

If you are experiencing a profound loss, PLEASE seek help. If you can, find a professional nearby. If you can’t find a professional skilled in grief and loss, then consider sharing with a close friend or family member. I will FOREVER be Thankful to my people for surrounding me in the darkest days and for the support they gave me. I’m positive I challenged every fiber of their being, personally and professionally, and yet they persevered. As for me, my healing journey continues.